just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
