Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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