We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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