so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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