Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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