She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
