We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize