i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
