new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
