Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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