can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
