That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
