hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
