alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I AM VODKA MAN
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
