Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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