She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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