The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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