Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
