You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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