If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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