You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
