do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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