So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
