The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
