this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
