I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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