Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
