if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
