I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
is that a dick in a sweater?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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