I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize