Define "chronic" masturbator.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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