HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How does one acquire holy water?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
