You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
