Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
