I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and i looked up. we had an audience...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
