I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
