So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
