He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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