arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
