By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
