love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
