Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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