Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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