So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
