Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
the liver wants what the liver wants
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
