What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
