You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
