I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
