ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
