Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
