i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
