I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
