So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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