it hurts more in the daytime
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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