remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize