I just saw a hot homeless man
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
