they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
