it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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