Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
