Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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