his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
