Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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