So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
