just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
