You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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