haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
