You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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