If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
