So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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