Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am available for nakedness
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
