I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
