What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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