She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
