so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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