i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
