Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
