why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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