You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
operation harelip BJ is a go
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
